Thanks to my many wonderful friends and amazing therapist, I have started developing an arsenal of things to do when those depressive moments hit. Here is a shout-out to Tammy and Amanda who have given me wonderful advice. (Amanda, if you're reading this, I'm sorry I haven't responded back yet. Oops!) Anyway, I just wanted to share some of the things that have helped me that perhaps someone else might benefit from them. They are not in any particular order, and not all of them work all of the time. Often I have to switch between many of these in order for something to help. Some days nothing helps, and then it's just a matter of making it through the day.
1) BREATHE! This is probably the most effective for me, and it can be done anywhere. Just breathe in for about five seconds, and then breathe out for five seconds. It's amazing how well this works! Oxygen begins flowing better throughout your body, and you start to relax. Suddenly decisions and stressful moments become a little easier.
2) Exercise. Anyone who knows me even a little knows that I love to work out. I'm that crazy person who is at the gym at six every morning. Many times people comment on how dedicated I am, but I usually don't tell them the real reason why I do it: it helps control my depression and anxiety. More specifically, it helps me best with anxiety because I struggle to sit for very long. If I haven't exercised, I get super anxious. Sometimes if I have long days of sitting or studying, I'll also take an afternoon walk or something to stretch my legs again. It also helps me mentally for depression. When I'm having a really off day, if I can, I'll push myself harder to burn out the sad feelings. Other days when I have no energy, I'll lower the intensity, but I'll still do it.
3) Eat well. Food is extremely important for the body and well as the mind. When I don't eat enough during the day or not very well, I have a greater tendency to get depressed. There is a reason why doctors recommend fish oils so much for this. The oils help with reactions in your brain. Eating a healthy balanced diet with plenty of fruits and vegetables really make a difference in how you feel.
4) Treat yourself. Along the same lines as the previous tip, it's good to eat well, but it's also good to treat yourself once in a while. When you have that little snack or dessert, suddenly the day seems a little more manageable. I'm not saying that you should go out and buy a tub of ice cream and eat it right then. You'll feel even worse after that! Especially if your depression is because of your poor self-image. Eating so much sugar like that will leave you feeling bloated (your body holds three grams of water for every gram of carbohydrate) and just sick. My go-to is usually a spoonful of peanut butter or a little bit of chocolate. Cliche, I know, but it works. If I have the time or means, I sometimes make myself a fun or delicious dinner or treat myself at a cheap restaurant. Remember, I am a poor college student.
5) Do something with your hands. I personally keep a coloring book handy. Don't judge! It has dinosaurs--completely legit. This usually works when I'm in the library or somewhere that I can take a break from homework. When I'm at meetings, in class, or anywhere where a coloring book would not be appropriate (crazy, right?), then I make sure to have a pen and paper to doodle. This was especially effective on my mission when we had meetings all the time. It helped me to focus more on my hands and what the speaker was saying while not focusing as much on my anxious legs that wanted to move. I even did cross-stitch for a while, too, on my mission because it was cheap and looked (usually) nice when done.
6) Sleep. Just don't overdo it. Then you will feel worse and sluggish. It's important to keep a normal sleep pattern and try to get 7-8hours of sleep if possible. Yes, that means not procrastinating on homework or other assignments. Maybe your social life won't like you for a while, but your body and brain will. Then you might actually start wanting to be more social and having the energy to do so.
7) Give yourself permission to take a break. My problem is that I can't sleep, even if I'm exhausted. Instead, I take time for myself to relax. At first this was really difficult for me because I felt like I was wasting time and should have been working or studying. In reality, when I tried to force myself to keep working, I wasn't effective. It would have been like I hadn't done anything at all. However, after giving myself a break or taking the night off, I would be more productive the next day because I wasn't emotionally worn out.
8) Confide in someone that you trust. I have been seeing a therapist pretty much since my first week in the MTC. Before my mission, I certainly had people I could talk to, although as my reporting date loomed closer, I closed myself off somewhat because I didn't think I could trust anyone with my real feelings about going on a mission. The therapists I had in the MTC and in Mesa were fantastic. I felt like I could totally tell them everything that was on my mind, although it was hard to do sometimes. Well, they are paid to listen, right? On top of that, Heavenly Father blessed me with wonderful companions and a loving mission president and his wife to help me through things. When I got home from my mission, I told very few people about what was going on. I only really had my parents and a therapist around at that time (all of which were so loving and understanding), but I've kept in contact with friends. Coming back to college, I again have few people to confide with, but I cherish them deeply. I am becoming more open about things, but there are only a few that I share the whole story with because I know that they will not judge me.
9) Pray. Really, this should have been up next to 'breathe' because it's such a crucial thing. Prayer is literally what sustained me day-to-day on my mission. Sometimes it was the only thing that could keep me going hour-to-hour. Often I felt like my faith was too weak, but I had enough to trust in God that things would be ok. My head would never totally clear, but I would find enough energy to help me through the rest of the day. I still have days like that. Prayer is such a powerful resource, I've learned, and I feel like sometimes we under-use it.
10) Cry a little. Seriously, it's ok. It helps purge out the awful feelings and sometimes leaves you feeling much better.
11) Listen to good music or relax with a funny movie. A lot of people I know like to listen to sad and depressing music for when they are feeling down, but for myself, I realized that I feel worse if I do so. Instead I prefer to listen to something fun and upbeat, something I can sing along to or even dance to. Sometimes you do just need to dance. At night if my head is filled with worries, anxieties, or depressive thoughts, relaxing instrumental music helps calm me down enough to sleep. As for movies, I avoid things that make me cry. Life is already sad enough without adding more sadness through film. Funny movies leave me feeling more uplifted and positive about life.
12) Serve. Do something for someone else. Sometimes it takes a lot of effort to actually do it. We have to yank ourselves out of our pity-party and think about another person. It's hard to do, but when you're done, you feel a little better. For a brief moment you forget about your own pain and think of what another person needs. It doesn't have to be big. For me, I love to bake (another one of my stress-relievers), so I'll make something and give it to someone who lives in my apartment complex. They love the food, I love the baking, and both feel better.
13) Medication. There is a lot of negative stigma with taking medications to help with these mental problems. Some people view the medication that changes who you really are. I admit that I was a bit nervous at first about taking medicines, afraid that they would change me. I always thought of how people would call them "happy pills". In reality, that is not how they work. If used properly, they merely help balance out the chemicals in the brain. I'm not quite sure how it all works, but they help level out the emotions so that there are not these giant dips in moods. Chronic depression is NOT a normal state. People are not meant to be sad all the time. "Adam fell that men might be; and men are, that they might have joy" (2 Nephi 2:25). We are supposed to have joy, but something in our brains tells us that it is not so. The medicines bring the chemicals in the brain back to normal, or at least more balanced, so that we can feel more normal. I definitely have recognized the difference when I'm really depressed and when I'm not, and honestly, the depression side of me is not my normal 'me'.
I hope this helps someone out there. Feel free to comment with more ideas if anyone has something that's been helpful.
This is an awesome list! Thanks for sharing!
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